Letting Go…..

Who ever said letting go is easy?

Who ever said life is easy?

Who ever said anything is ever easy?

Except for eating, sleeping (sometimes I do have difficulty sleeping), showering (quite hard if you’re lazy)…

See, even the easiest things we humans can do can be  really quite difficult.

But by the end of 2011, I learned to let go and it was not easy. It consists of me crying every night, mood swings like any other month but more constant and the feeling of giving up everyday I wake up.

Let’s just say, towards the end of everything, I can’t feel anything about everything. I am as neutral as something that I can’t think of regarding everything that I go through everyday.

Well as usual, it’s always another person that makes it hard for you to let go and this guy is just amazing to me. His name is ACKS (its his initial). You see, ACKS left a very big impact on my life that I constantly think of becoming a better person but it took me awhile on making a big step on changing myself to be a better version of myself. I had to push him away in order for me to grow, in which i am missing him every single day. I mean I miss how we used to be, how we are with each other, what we talked about, our thoughts, and things that we did.

After abit of argument, I let go of everything, the things he said, promises and plans. I let it go because I feel that when I hold on to his words, the words that I thought he would keep, it slowly became a burden knowing that he would never do what he said he would. I feel like it’s not even fair for me to keep on reminding him the things that he said he would do.

It took me those actions and thoughts to Let Go, but I feel more easy even though I’m numb. Now, not even one of us cares.

I also feel that I gave him a hard time too. At first it was easy for both of us to get along and understand each other but as life gets the best of us, we drifted apart and for me knowing that we’re drifting apart, I tried to hold on. I hold on until there’s nothing left to hold and ended up losing a friend that I love talking to, love telling my thoughts to and love spending time with. He is the best person I ever met *for now* He was there when life went downwards spiral and stayed, we still do talk from time to time but its not the same anymore.

In conclusion, anything in Life is never easy, it’s just how you take it to be and how you want it to be. Everything depends on yourself and no one else on what you’re going to do with your life.

a friend of mine said, “You just got to understand, it’ll be easier”

Later days,

Double Zee.


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