Loss and lesson learned

it felt like i’ve lost something that i treasure so dearly.

i wanted to have it but i think his time in my life was supposed to be brief.

it was to pushed me to start praying because before that, I know I have to but i just didn’t

and so, I thank him for pushing me to do that.

 

he kept saying that i was negative and by that i tried so hard to change

then after months, I’ve realized that the friendship was no longer positive anyways.

my thoughts was the effect of how it changed and my gut feeling telling me there’s something’s up.

I was reacting to his behaviors and how it changed.

Soon, i brought up the bad in him and he brought up the bad in me. Then, I went into depression again.

I tried to fix it willingly for it to be relaxing and fun like before but i was doing all the work

it didn’t matter to him because he was having lots of other people to give his attention to.

and loads of other things came up too.

People approached me telling me things that I should have known.

It ended with sarcasm. all the things that came out was sarcastic remarks.

 

i hope he knows that I wasn’t pissed at my sister for visiting his place with everyone.

she pissed me of for treating me badly. I don’t even care if she travel around the world with them.

“some friends make better siblings than your own siblings and some siblings are just strangers you grew up with”

i really hope he’ll be there for my sister when she needs help because i am done with helping people who hurt me continuously.

she covered him and she knows how it’ll affect me but she didn’t care how i’ll feel.

 

What I’ve learned throughout this experience.

– always give chance to people who really deserves it

– tell upfront with what’s going on.

– just let go and let it be. if someone wants to be in your life, they will stay with no excuses.

-don’t hold on to the past. the past is a very dark place to stay, there’s no light and no purpose but lessons.

-don’t hold to anyone’s word too seriously.

-don’t expect people to do what you are willing to do for them.

-just don’t stop being yourself.

-never to lose yourself even if you are close with anyone.

-stop apologizing to people who doesn’t deserve it.

 

 

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